Friday, April 29, 2011

Hope #2

I don't usually do this but I'm gonna share a journal entry I've written.

So here it is..

Tonight I realized that my experience at college so far has been one of finding hope.  I honestly didn't have hope at all.  I lost trust for everyone; for people.  I've been betrayed multiple times and yeah, people could say one of the worst kinds of betrayal but really, betrayal is betrayal and this is just my story.  I'm not here to one up someone, especially with my life.  I'm just not gong to compare my life to others like that.  It's not necessary and that's not why I'm here. 

A while ago I didn't know my purpose in life and I honestly still don't know, but I do know that I'm on the right path to finding my purpose.  I also know that I have a desire to share the hope that I've finally found.  To share it with those who were like me.  Those who have lost hope completely and have no desire to go find it.  And some just don't know they need it.  Or they don't know what it is.  Some just don't have the strength to go find it. 

I'm kind of losing my thoughts right now but I almost feel like going to find hope requires someone to have hope in the first place.  I mean if you are going to search for something then you have hope that its going to be there, right?  Otherwise you would just give up.  At least I would.  I guess that's why I think bringing hope to people is important.  If you didn't have hope would you do nothing and just be apathetic all your life? 

Some people think they've committed the worst sin and it's impossible to be forgiven.  Someone who has murdered or committed adultery, a rapist or a thief probably feel like their sins can't be forgiven but I don't think that's true.  I actually don't want that to be true.  If it were true, then Jesus dying on the cross wasn't worth anything and the hope is lost.  If it were true, I would have been hoping in a lie. 

I'm glad I found hope and I'm glad I can rest in knowing that this hope will never disappoint and it will never fade away.  I don't think about it as much as I want to, but why would I keep hope like that to myself? 

Hope that has changed my life.  A hope that gave me a purpose. 

Hope in Jesus. 

Honestly, this hope is worth all of the pain that I've ever experienced.

So there it is.
Welcome back to my thoughts.

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